We forget that we can

We have been groomed to believe that having a role model is ideal. Consequently, no one bothers to put an emphasis on the importance of working towards being a role model. That is why we find ourselves tailing the treads of people whose true stories are unknown to us.

We have adopted strange societal notions and have standardised these as tolerable customs.  Hence, we find ourselves pursuing studies that will merely place us in front of the camera, because we believe that is where money and true happiness lies. In doing so, overlooking that being a teacher, a lawyer and even a medical practitioner is still relevant as it provides greater joy and financial rewards.

Someone has been wise enough to make us believe that we can be anything we want to be. But the same person misremembered to tell us that it is through education that the daughter of a peasant can become a doctor, that a son of a mine worker can become the head of the mine and that a child of farm workers can become the president of a great nation.

An intelligent man once painted a splendid image of Dr. Precious Moloi-Motsepe, citing her impressive accolades as well as her association with the fabulous world of fashion. The same man did not mention that Dr. Moloi-Motsepe is an epitome of an African woman; who, like many South African mothers, was committed to creating a solid foundation for herself and her family. This man forgot to depict the challenges she possibly faced while working towards becoming what she had always wanted to be.

We have been made to accept that the ideas in our minds can only come alive if someone else authenticates them. It has elapsed in our hearts and minds that we all are one with the force that is greater than any other existing source in the universe. God.

We tend to take seriously the statement that suggests that what comes out of our lips has so much influence with regards to what we become. For some reason, however, we always fail to build a room for this statement when it comes to positives words that escape our lips.

When we are told we are failures, we take offence as we believe that is true. Yet we are nonchalant when we hear just how beautiful and good we are, simply because we know this to be untrue.

We live in a domain in which being provided for is the coolest thing. It does not register in our smart minds that we possess the same abilities as the individuals who assume to roles of feeding us.

In the games we play with our friends we always opt for subordinate roles and never the dominant ones, for the reason that we doubt we can be in control.

We forget that being black, poor or disabled has nothing to do with accomplishing the dreams awaiting us. We forget that we can. We forget that the problem is our laziness and lack of determination that has us constantly in need.

Happy read!

*This piece is also published on www.sivehopefoundation.co.za

Oh Twitter, thy excellence is a charm

The masses have dubbed Twitter good while some see it as bad and very ugly; with a tinge of backstabbers, groupies and ass-kissers. Nonetheless, judging by its ever accelerating membership, it is only fair to agree that Twitter is popular.

A number of ordinary South Africans have celebrities because of this form of social media. Certain people’s egos and personalities have become bigger and more ostentatious due to how smart, rich and important Twitter people have measured them.

I’m thinking, this is the reason some companies have taken up this platform with the aim of promoting their services and products. Twitter brings an audience that carries some power in regards to publicising something without being paid to do so. This is exactly what some companies sought after.

Many companies have succeeded is utilising this tool while some have struggled and, to some extent, failed dismally.

Their mistake, in my opinion, has been to emulate the typical angles big corporates have already worn and tired. They failed to build their subsistence outside the box.

I believe that the lack of creativity (in these companies) can be blamed to not completely understanding the majority of people who dominate on Twitter and how they can actually take advantage of their presence in the sphere.

Case in point, many companies tend to associate their brands and products with musicians, actors and whoever is always on television. The intention here is to make sure that their product is always spoken about or at least seen on television without having to go the traditional way of advertising and selling it.

That is good and it works. Sometimes.

However, these companies fail to understand that Twitter exist on their laps free of charge and with it comes a number of people (let us call them Twiples) who are willing AND able to promote certain products to a reasonably large audience.

The majority of these Twiples have ordinary jobs – that which we never consider exciting – and some of them are just students. But, their tweets are read, and considered important, by many followers who are impending customers for these companies.

For example, I have less than 300 followers on Twitter and many of them are industry individuals. But, I follow – and get followed by - two people; Tendai Sean Joe and Lelo Boyana.

When Lelo and Tendai comment or retweet a photograph I have tweeted it gets viewed by thousands of people. Sometimes, if they retweet one of my tweets or comment on it I will get tagged on comments by a several people, whom I do not even know from bar of Twitter soap. At times I would get follow requests based on their one and only comment.

One more example: I usually tweet English translations of Xhosa terms and expressions. So, a few weeks back, Lelo was asked by one of her followers as to where can s/he get Xhosa lessons. In response, Lelo tweeted my name. From that one response, I got loads of follow requests within one hour. For me this was unusual and very scary. Thanks to having locked my tweets, I was able to opt for people I thought were of interest to me.

These are the people many companies, public relations agencies and products should be associated with. I know only two, but I bet you there are many where they come from.

While they might not be musicians, actors or leak nude photographs of themselves to get attention, they carry a very useful audience on Twitter.

So, using them comes in handy, literally.

Besides, many of these musicians, actors and ‘celebrities’ (God only knows of what) do not have many followers on Twitter. Of course, this can be blamed to the fact that they hardly tweet anything remarkable. Not even something that helps their image.

Possibly, I have just blogged about something many people have already said or tweeted. But, I see no harm in repetitively preaching this kind of gospel. Especially after receiving more than two thousand views on a photograph I tweeted last night simply because Lelo commented on it while I usually get less than five.

Happy read!

Me & Mr Jones: I remember

I remember having drinks with two friends; a very attractive guy and an elegant lady. To me this was a foreign land. A home and where school is for her, while this is where he use to study. Now, he only comes to visit his peers from church.
 
I was very familiar, and friendly with the double shots of Southern Comfort and lime I had in my hand. He was having the same while she went for something she felt was less 'hard', a Savanna.
 
With a cigarette at hand, she was blurting away. One would swear I have known her for ages, but I had just met her a few minutes ago. Thanks to Twitter, she asked to meet with me because she had heard of my PR proficiency. I'm not that good in the field, but I fitted her criteria of a young, vibrant, smart gay man.
 
We were chatting. She was enjoying us. He was entertaining. My Blackberry Messenger (BBM) was demanding my eye; Mr Jones was dining right across where we were. I wanted to see him. Gosh, I have been looking forward to this day.
 
I knew he was dark, but unsure of how tall he was. His Facebook photos depicted a tall skinny boy. Contrary to what he believed, he was good looking. He is near News Cafe, his text showed. I excused myself and up I went, carried away by self-reliance that would have fed a lot of starving children in Rwanda.
 
There he was. Cute, I muttered. He wasn't tall. He was not tall at all. He was still dark and very lovely though.
 
Hand shakes, wry smiles, hotness oozed between the two of us. Within a few seconds I had made him relax. Or had he made me relax? We were both not nervous; clearly we were two adults who were very much used to meeting strangers.
 
I walked him back to his res. At least I had established that he's not so busy, hence I had planned to have him hang with me, him and her. This was his territory, but I could tell that Mr Jones was did not go out much. Well, his time had come.
 
I went back strutting in excitement. I informed the crew that we will have a 'guest' among us. They got even more excited when they learn that I wanted to pursue Mr Jones.
 
I remember we moved from point A to B because freshmen are not allowed anywhere else except point B.
 
I remember the number grew from three; two men and a lady, to three men and a lady. The big man was in the midst. Rounds flew, allowing intoxication in the mind. By now everyone wanted to see Mr Jones. Right then, my BBM was buzzing. I'm here, where are you guys, his text showed.
 
He's here, I told the crew. I went to meet him halfway. He came to join us. Everyone loved him. Everyone loved him alright.
 
One drink too many. Stones was getting even more packed, but we had reserved our space so that we had enough to dance on. Or should I say that space was for me and me alone? I mean, I was the only one dancing.
 
I believe it was during my dancing that Mr Jones managed to forge, between himself and my male friend, what I had expected to develop between him and I.
 
I remember the big guy pulling me aside to ask me if I could see what was going on between the two. It was clear, but my mind was to slow to capture such disturbing moments. My friend entertaining my lovely Mr Jones, no harm in that, I thought.
 
I remember seeing their lips lock. I giggled, not because it was funny but, because it was strange just how roles have changed in one day, over few hours, between two good friends; all for a stranger. My then potential lover.
 
I remember the big guy and I waiting on Mr Jones and he to finish smooching. How lovely. No! How weird? Actually, ouch. Very ouch.
 
I remember confronting him inside a cab we took as we were heading home; to his place. "I can't believe you," I said, with a mouth that surely reeked of liquor. "Can we not talk about this now Dladla," he suggested. When was the right time? After they have established a solid foundation for their love for each other?
 
I remember, not hugging my friend when I left for work the next day. I remember nursing a weird pain in my belly every time their BBM statuses suggested they were together or going for a night out together. I remember forcing myself to accept that I had lost and my friend had won. I remember texting both of them wishing all the best.
 
To be honest, they made each other happy. I do believe they loved each other.
 
Despite what I thought in the beginning, me and Mr Jones could have never worked out. The fact that I was a R96 away while my friend was merely R20 confirmed this. Besides, Mr Jones was a student, something I had recently decided to stay away from. I, on the other hand, was very clingy; something that would have annoyed him to the point of ditching me.
 
I believe this is the realisation that brought me to man up and be 'happy' for Mr Jones and my friend. As a result, I had just the perfect idea. The plan was to invite both of them over at my place for a day or two. We would chill, eat and have fun just like old times.
 
The main idea here was to restore my friendship with my friend while setting things with Mr Jones to however they were before I found him appealing. Also, Mr Jones had never been to my house. He had always heard of the parties and braai that I usually host. Now, the time for him to come had arrived.
 
"When do you want to host us? Mr Jones and I have broken up," text from him showed. I gasped alone in a taxi home.
 
I remember feeling anger intensifying inside me. I almost lost a friendship with him. For what? A fling? Couldn't they have worked harder on whatever the problem was? After all the shit their relationship put me through, they failed to nurture what they have started? Actually, I was hurt. For what? Just for a spare of the moment kind of thing?
 
It's like they were both spiting me, with him saying let me get the taste of what my friend was after while Mr Jones pursued his inquisitiveness in regards to how it feels to be with the friend of the guy who wanted him.
 
I feel their relationship cost me. Now they threw all that away. Just when I was beginning to get my head around the idea of them dating.
 
Happy read!

An axe within reach

Earlier this morning my Twitter timeline was buzzing with questions and comments regarding the story about the former Blue Bulls rugby player who was arrested last Tuesday in relation to the axe murders in KwaZulu-Natal.

According to News24, the police suspect this attack to be revenge, after his daughter was gang-raped and was infected with HIV.

While many choose to hide what they would have done had they been in this guy’s shoes, I choose to be direct about my view. I mean I do NOT blame this guy for settling a score; particularly living in a country where unfairness is of most importance. In many cases regarding rape, corruption and murder perpetrators are seen walking free. We see them and we know them from our communities and on television screens. Some of them are prominent figures, but our pockets are less capable of inspiring our hands to touch them. The laws fail us as a result.

Why then wait for a case that is likely to be unsuccessful to disappoint you anyway? Of course, taking the law unto your hands is not a right thing at all. But one must understand the pain felt by this guy and especially his daughter who is now stained with a disease so deadly it has killed millions of people in South Africa.

If these men really raped this girl, why were they still walking free?

It is about time the South African justice system advocate for the victims. Issues affecting citizens of this country should take precedence and those that are in relation to the country’s image (e.g; Dewani case) come second.

If anyone would do anything to harm my mother or my two younger siblings in a manner similar to this incident, I would make sure that they die. God knows I cannot afford good lawyers, but at least an axe is within my reach. Why bother consult a useless system?

Let this be a lesson to the rapist and killers who are still trouncing somewhere; some people do not take kindly to hurt afflicted unto their families.

Happy read!

Tweetrospection

Without a doubt, Twitter is one of the most popular channels of social media in the world. In my opinion, IT IS the most loved and used channel currently. Once upon a time Facebook had this throne. However, today that is no longer the case.

Just like any form of social media (My Space, Mxit and Facebook), Twitter comprises all sorts of people; perverts, attention seeking people, stalkers, pastors, prostitutes and people who seem to simply exist –particularly on this channel- just to ridicule others.  

 Thanks to being extensively used by young people, Twitter has become the preferred target for social media marketing. However, it is not only businesses that use it for this purpose but individuals (celebrities) as well, because they want a quick way to connect with an audience, and this way they are able to enhance their fan base.

While this channel is perceived and dubbed the best tool, many of its users developed a tendency of using it to tweet the most disrespectful things to other people; ‘ordinary’ people try to set scores with ‘celebrities’ while certain ‘celebrities’ look down and undermine the same people they depend to create their fan bases.

Tweectivities

There has been an event where a well known DJ was having an argument with his follower because the follower tweeted that this particular DJ was rude. In his response, the DJ said something along the lines of “fans should know their place, just like WE know ours...”

My question here was that, where exactly is a fan’s place? Is it behind the store counter when buying the music? In a queue at Computicket waiting to purchase a ticket to a DJ’s concert??

I fail to understand people such as this DJ, not that there is a need for me to understand them. How do you present yourself to the public as a genuine public figure when you are ordinary but change for the worst and become disrespectful, when you are popular, towards the same people who help to get your business, your image booming?

The most recent incident, as recorded by the most popular entertainment site, involves the elegant Sonia Booth who, by the look of things, was infuriated by a Twitter user, whose reasons to start a fight are still unknown. Just like many other provoked ‘celebrities’, Booth hit back and as a result swear statements were exchanged.

In reality, when we find that the people we surround ourselves with appear to be not so friendly and mean, we find ways of eliminating them. Bonang Matheba, on the other hand, emerged with a very skillful way of eliminating the ‘’not so friendly’ people she has on Twitter; she blocks them.

Me and many people on Twitter looked Bonang’s strategy and not only found it funny but ridiculous as well. Evidently, it slipped the mind that, Bonang after all is a human being too and therefore is subjected to feeling the pain and the hurt many of these people’s tweets might have caused. Blocking them for her proved to be necessary and working too.

Not only does she block, Bonang makes it a point that she retweet mostly –if not only- the nice and positive things many of her followers say to and about her. At first, I found this a bit egocentric of her. However, I came to realise that, we are living at a time where if we don’t draw attention to the positivity that oozes out of the few nice people we have around us, we can never see or feel just how good and beautiful we are. Of course, in this perspective, one needs to be very assertive and well aware of what, how he or she is and all that he or she stands for, so that what people say may come as a confirmation if it is positive.

With all these incidents and many others that take place on Twitter, it has become clear that, this channel is not only popular because of the blue chip companies and public figures registered on it, but also  because of people who have personal –or professional- vengeance against others.

Maybe it is safe therefore to conclude that Twitter is certainly not for the faint hearted. In fact, the faint hearted have de-activated their accounts and chose to stay free of the controversy Twitter brings.

If I am not mistaken, T-bo Touch is one of the people who parted ways with Twitter. Maybe he is back these days, I don’t know.

Happy read!

Judgement days

The manner in which we judge each other in South Africa is atrocious. We have shifted from being groups of people who defend each other from any negative and uncalled-for remarks made by people of opposing parties and groups straight to turning against each other.

In the process, we forsake all the evidence there is to help look at and resolve cases that seems to be shady in our eyes.  Consequently, so many souls have no hope, faith or trust in anyone outside their family circles. But, what if one comes from a family that lacks the element of support for its off-springs?

Clearly, if our lovers, friends and neighbours have forsaken us in this situation, we need not put our hopes up for rescue.

My rant is inspired by what I just witnessed a couple of seconds ago.  A lady by the name of Pelokazi Zao is a trending topic (#TT) on Twitter because of a “her” Facebook account that has a profile photo of her spreading her legs and showing-off her genitals.

The one thing that caught my eyes as soon as I witnessed this is that, this account does not have any information apart from this photo, no friends and it does not have any posts; a concept that introduced a suspicion in my mind. Alas, no one on Twitter seemed to have noticed this. Instead, Tweepets (my term for people who tweet) threw curses and fits towards this lady. And I am thinking, what if this Pelokazi is not aware of this account? What if someone set her up as a revenge for whatever reasons? What if this is a photo she took with her boyfriend/husband – as we all know, people do nasty things when in love - who might have created this, after a very bad split?

Am I the only one who thought of all these things? What are women thinking?

I have read and heard of so many stories where a young girl committed suicide after her sex video was circulated in some town or school. What if this results in the same scenario? Are we to blame the coward in her or we will be courageous enough to admit that we played a role in her death?

Judging comes natural in each one of us, despite being in denial about it most of the times. But, there is a certain limit to everything.  We have proven to be not so satisfied with being obsessed with our bodies, hence we have grown to be more selfish than one can possibly imagine.

Now, this is a story to be made fun of. Even if the worst happens to her, we will laugh and utter negative remarks about her. However, when the lightning strikes on our sides; hitting us, our friends, lovers and those we like, we then look at those who laugh at us, those who judge us without any benefit of the doubt as the bad people, forgetting that we were the first products to be bad.

I advise you to continue and laugh if you want. I also advise you to look at the laughingstock before you let your heavy lips part in slow motion; mull over the possibilities, and after all that you have considered, do note that it is highly possible that you could be the next one on exactly the same position as the person you are laughing at.

With you being the victim in this regard, I wonder if you would be posting #TTs on Twitter spreading the word to people and making fun of the situation.

Happy read!

Facebook comment

This morning I came across a line that took me back to missing having a boyfriend. I bump into this sentence by mistake on Facebook.  

“I’m proud of him for putting up with me...” that was the line.

Here’s what happens; if I see someone on Twitter whom I find interesting enough to follow, I first Google him and see if he is on Facebook or not or what information is out there about him. In doing that I go through the available information just to see if he is still worth my follow.

This was the case this morning; I came across this line on Facebook as a comment this guy –I wanted to follow on Twitter- made on a photo of his boyfriend. Immediately, I felt lonely and miserable and I could not help but think of when one of my former lovers used a similar line about me to his friends while I was in the other room. “Argh, he really loves me shame, I mean after putting up with my crap, he’s still with me... oh he’s a sweetheart...”- he would say.

This got me thinking that in as much as I always point the finger to my exes for my failed relationships, I am to blame too for failing to keep and put up with them like I had promised myself I would. At the end of the day I messed up too, but because I refuse to let the love I have for myself get tainted, I do not mind seeing the exit.

Right now, I am free as a single person, but I sure do not like doing things alone.  Maybe it is about time I get myself a very expensive teddy bear.

Happy read!