March is my eighth month, having been in Johannesburg. I came here last year, in July in aims of starting up my career. I knew it was not going to be an easy task, but I also did not know it was going to take more than sweats and tears to accomplish my plan.
So far, however, I have only climbed as level one on a building comprising eleven levels of success. So, I can safely say I am a bit successful, but not entirely. Not even close.
Today, I feel I have bruises, emotionally. I feel, I am tired. I am slowly losing my mind because what I had come here for does not seem to be coming along so well. Possibly, my future is in East London, Mthatha or Port Elizabeth, but what will it take for me to know for sure where I am suppose to head in the coming days.
Of course, going back to my province has its advantage, and that is being with my mother. But, that is the only reason I would choose to be grocery packer at a Pick n' Pay in Mthatha. But, up until today, she doesn't want me to come back home without having any sort of employment. Of course, she possess the same fear as any other woman neighbour she has, that of her son spending so much money on education, only to come back home and have nothing to do. Of course, crime, masturbation and sun bathing are open options.
Somehow, I know for a fact that something is going to come up. I always say to my mother. But, patience is the bitch in this scenario, because I do not have it in me, the ability to sit and wait for anything. I cannot wait for a person who is three minutes late for a meeting, I cannot wait for my mother who promised to deal with some boy I had a fight with, I cannot sit and wait in my room, while one of my best friends is having a problem, AND, I cannot wait an unknown company to get back to me, after two months, for a job post I applied for four weeks ago.
Unfortunately, whether I can or cannot wait, what is meant to reach me or be mine only after six months, will stay that way. However, if it happens that I invent ways to get it to me before time, there are consequences. Such consequences tend to extend the dates of my things, coming to me. Hence, I have to let things be. Unfortunately.
Happy read!
