Judgement days

The manner in which we judge each other in South Africa is atrocious. We have shifted from being groups of people who defend each other from any negative and uncalled-for remarks made by people of opposing parties and groups straight to turning against each other.

In the process, we forsake all the evidence there is to help look at and resolve cases that seems to be shady in our eyes.  Consequently, so many souls have no hope, faith or trust in anyone outside their family circles. But, what if one comes from a family that lacks the element of support for its off-springs?

Clearly, if our lovers, friends and neighbours have forsaken us in this situation, we need not put our hopes up for rescue.

My rant is inspired by what I just witnessed a couple of seconds ago.  A lady by the name of Pelokazi Zao is a trending topic (#TT) on Twitter because of a “her” Facebook account that has a profile photo of her spreading her legs and showing-off her genitals.

The one thing that caught my eyes as soon as I witnessed this is that, this account does not have any information apart from this photo, no friends and it does not have any posts; a concept that introduced a suspicion in my mind. Alas, no one on Twitter seemed to have noticed this. Instead, Tweepets (my term for people who tweet) threw curses and fits towards this lady. And I am thinking, what if this Pelokazi is not aware of this account? What if someone set her up as a revenge for whatever reasons? What if this is a photo she took with her boyfriend/husband – as we all know, people do nasty things when in love - who might have created this, after a very bad split?

Am I the only one who thought of all these things? What are women thinking?

I have read and heard of so many stories where a young girl committed suicide after her sex video was circulated in some town or school. What if this results in the same scenario? Are we to blame the coward in her or we will be courageous enough to admit that we played a role in her death?

Judging comes natural in each one of us, despite being in denial about it most of the times. But, there is a certain limit to everything.  We have proven to be not so satisfied with being obsessed with our bodies, hence we have grown to be more selfish than one can possibly imagine.

Now, this is a story to be made fun of. Even if the worst happens to her, we will laugh and utter negative remarks about her. However, when the lightning strikes on our sides; hitting us, our friends, lovers and those we like, we then look at those who laugh at us, those who judge us without any benefit of the doubt as the bad people, forgetting that we were the first products to be bad.

I advise you to continue and laugh if you want. I also advise you to look at the laughingstock before you let your heavy lips part in slow motion; mull over the possibilities, and after all that you have considered, do note that it is highly possible that you could be the next one on exactly the same position as the person you are laughing at.

With you being the victim in this regard, I wonder if you would be posting #TTs on Twitter spreading the word to people and making fun of the situation.

Happy read!

Facebook comment

This morning I came across a line that took me back to missing having a boyfriend. I bump into this sentence by mistake on Facebook.  

“I’m proud of him for putting up with me...” that was the line.

Here’s what happens; if I see someone on Twitter whom I find interesting enough to follow, I first Google him and see if he is on Facebook or not or what information is out there about him. In doing that I go through the available information just to see if he is still worth my follow.

This was the case this morning; I came across this line on Facebook as a comment this guy –I wanted to follow on Twitter- made on a photo of his boyfriend. Immediately, I felt lonely and miserable and I could not help but think of when one of my former lovers used a similar line about me to his friends while I was in the other room. “Argh, he really loves me shame, I mean after putting up with my crap, he’s still with me... oh he’s a sweetheart...”- he would say.

This got me thinking that in as much as I always point the finger to my exes for my failed relationships, I am to blame too for failing to keep and put up with them like I had promised myself I would. At the end of the day I messed up too, but because I refuse to let the love I have for myself get tainted, I do not mind seeing the exit.

Right now, I am free as a single person, but I sure do not like doing things alone.  Maybe it is about time I get myself a very expensive teddy bear.

Happy read!

Precision as I see it

South Africa is a very beautiful country and that is a fact. From looking at it with the naked eye to experiencing our moody weather, feeling the beauty and warmth of its people and enjoying their company.

This country is rich. We have soil that produces and supplies many countries not only with crops, but with gold and wine too. We have a very diverse culture; a rainbow nation out of which result legends and the most amazing people.

We are talented. There is nothing anyone from any other country can do that we cannot do. In many cases, we do things better because we have our rich history that inspires our creativity and we have hungry minds, hence we grasp information and often make use of it by not only enriching South Africans, but everyone else from beyond the borders as well.

We have the best of good hearts. When our neighbouring countries are facing tough times, we intervene. We offer help and we get down to taking on hard labour; just as long as it is going to help the other people.

When Haiti was faced with a fatal earthquake that left thousands of people dead, South Africa was amongst the states that took on the responsibility to help. When an internal quarrel arose within the Zimbabwean cabinet, our own Thabo Mbeki had to act as a mediator, as a result, we now see cordial relations between opposing parties, despite the permanent profound hatred that will forever remain.

Like any other beautiful creature, of course, we possess a bad side. Unfortunately, when the bad in us surfaces, all the beauty and the goodness in us vanishes. Consequently, many dub us many negative things while we see deeper dark spots in ourselves too.

Sadly, in seeing predicaments within our own fabric of society, we tend to disagree with each other which is a process that usually result to incarnations that merely segregate us with the same tools we use to join our forces against any external rival; race, gender, ability and sexuality.

Discussing solutions appears to be easy to us, those who see the cabinet via television and stadiums. We tend to assume –and sometimes believe- that our government is lazy to sort out issues. What makes people like me see things this way really?

Our public officials lie. They refuse to admit to failure in any case. Instead, they produce confusing statistic figures that leave me –who left mathematics in Grade 7- blinking a million times. These figures never sit well with my tasting buds.

Our government comprises corrupt individuals who see money and instantly think of illegal tender dealings, bribery and impish expenditure of taxpayers’ hard-earned cash, while their salaries sit to grow mould in their Swiss bank accounts.

Are they to blame? Yes. Yes, because they promised to work for the benefit of the public by developing and implementing strategies that will see many uneducated people getting jobs, sick and frail poor people getting the necessary help they need and the existence of humanity, unity and love between men and women, children and elders, blacks and whites, gays and straight people, able people and those who are challenged; physically, mentally and otherwise.

Of course, government alone cannot do anything. Just like citizens could never succeed without the help of the government. This is where things begin to shape up, and everyone know and understands this simple concept. But, is it exercised? No.

That is why many people – in and outside the government - throw tantrums that leave many of us bending trying to pick up our jaws from the floor.  From the likes of Julius Malema who pride himself with uttering discriminatory statements about women and people of opposing parties, to Steve Hofmeyr and Annelie Botes who express their dislike of the Black race in public forums citing to be stating their views the only way they know how.

That is why families are betrayed. They send their children to schools and entrust them in the hands of men and women who vowed to act as parents to them, whereas disgusting acts of children having sex and using drugs takes place right in their yards, with many other children watching while some entertain themselves by capturing such events on videos.

If it’s not such, gay people excuse their laziness by blaming homophobia, black South Africans exploit and discriminate against other black people from neighbouring countries (from the same countries that sheltered some of our politicians during the apartheid regime), men engage in sexual activities with young girls promising them the world while the reap their viginas apart and certain women create plots to kill their partners just for the love of money.

No one knows better, but when our minds work together we become better. Even with these incidents, we are able to and we can sort things out just by quitting the selfish motives we carry within us when dealing with each other.

As a black person, I need to know and learn to accept my faults. I need to understand that, the world does not owe me anything. In fact, I need to get up and work hard to accomplish my dreams. I need to understand and believe that I am capable of becoming what I want to become. I need to have it instilled in my mind that I am talented and all that the other person can do, I can do better. Also, I need to drop the hatred, fear and intimidation I get when I come across a white person. However, I need to understand that, if I express discriminatory statements about people of other races, I am racist.

The same applies for Coloureds, Indians, Whites and Chinese.

We go around saying we are proudly South Africans. It is about time now we prove that by working towards building a rainbow nation just like we had claimed we were since 1994.

Branding t-shirts with hearts is not enough.

Happy read!

Alone

About a month ago, I got appointed as a permanent member of staff at a company I had recently joined. Happy, feeling triumphant and thriving as I was, I knew these were the news to share not only with my beloved mother, but with those whom I call my friends too.

Before I even tried calling my two best friends, a thought ticked in mind, and all of a sudden I realised that I can’t, I can’t call them and tell them this. I mean, I could, but I just needed a much better way of doing it instead of over the phone.

Both these women are of essence and have been an inspiration in my life from the first day I met them. Thanks to them I managed to finish my studies at varsity in spite of the family disputes I had. The things they did for me I will never forget. Things got to a point where I felt that if I had needed new underwear, they would have bought it for me. That is how much they took care of me.

Because of this, I fell in love with the both of them. I just knew they have become a part of me that not even my biological sisters are not part of. They have created an image –in my eyes- of the perfect woman I would go for, given I happen to be restored from the wavy ways of a French curve.

Now, I had just got appointed permanently, while they both struggle with their careers. A part of me said, no... No, no, no. The best way to tell them is face to face. That way they will see it in your face just how much you still love them-and how devoted I am to them- regardless of the challenges they are facing in life.

They would see a great deal of the artefact they helped to established. Just how much I am flourishing, all thanks to their existence.

Sadly, seeing them was impossible. So, I could not see them, and yet I could not bring myself to calling them to tell them the news. Nonetheless, they found out, hail to the power of social media.  They both were excited for me. They still are, and they are proud of me.

Having said all that, I wanted to celebrate my news. My mother is in the Eastern Cape and my best friends are miles aways from me, so my Joburg peeps had to do.

But then again, what peeps? I have, no friends in Jozi. All that I have are people whom I find joy in making happy. I like being the reason people are smiling and enjoying life. That for me is just a perfect recipe to create a very good surrounding and friendships for oneself. One that lacks reciprocity, of course.

Experiencing the company of these kinds of people has made me realise that finding and building good friendships is as difficult as spotting Mr right amongst strippers.

And so, I am thinking, isn’t there a principle in small print somewhere, stating that, when a person is nice to you, you repay by being the same? Sense of decorum perhaps?

One ‘friend’ said I am asking too much, for a boy who settled easily in a city where out comers are usually welcomed by experience that live figurative and physical scars in their lives, scars that haunt them forever, hence they never survive it.

But I cannot live without friends. I experienced having the best ones not so long ago, and so I am addicted to having them. Is that too much to ask or maybe I am doing things differently? Weirdly?

I am alone, let’s face it. Soon I will be lonely. Funny how –when I was young- I use to pray to God not to make me the type of person whose career flourishes while personally I do NOT have a life.

Happy read!