After 9 malefactor

In all my two decades and some years of existence on this planet, I have always advocated for heterosexuals whom my friends and fellow gay beings accused of sleeping with gay peeps in secret. It is very unfair and totally wrong for us to consider every good looking man to be gay, I would say.

Of course, siding with straight people was not backed by any tangible evidence from my side. Except for the fact that it is possible for straight people to be very good friends with gay people and yet not be sexually attracted to them.

My friends and fellow gay beings, however, would reveal very explicit details about some of the so called “straight people” we know.  A few are ordinary people while a lot is in the public eye. Still, I stood and still stand by my premise that up until I see him (straight one) doing something sexual (even if it is kissing) with another man, or have him admit to having had an affair with another man, then I will come forth and agree and admit to being wrong.

Nonetheless, things have happened; straight men got caught in bed with other men. Straight men admitted to having had affairs with brothers-in-law and boys next-door. Married folks are “taking care” of feminine high school boys while their wives are struggling to find better ways to restore the youth of their sagging breasts as a result of trying to restore the spark in the bedroom of a man who is sexually attracted to men. Not that they know what their men are up to after 9.

Sad... Really sad

One friend said every man is gay. Again, I disputed that, stating that we as gay people refuse to be alone against the homophobes of this world. We refuse to stay ordinary, and so we want to have famous faces to admit or at least be associated with homosexual acts. That way, we are represented in almost every aspect of life.

However, famous men have been caught in the act by their female partners. Dignified women kept their mouths shut while the attention seeking ones vented through media. Mine at this stage is to stick to my statement, which is, I will only believe these men are gay once concrete evidence is at my exposure.

Having been in denial still on behalf of the straight people, news continues to be delivered in regards to men who sleep with other men in secret, but yet remain homophobic in the public eye.

In recent revelations, Eric Massa, (former) American Democratic politician, is alleged to have sexually harassed two male assistants. Massa, nonetheless, denies these allegations stating that he was merely tickling the one guy "... until he couldn't breathe, then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. … It was kill the old guy... “

Another revelation is of one of the most famous bishops in the world, Bishop Eddie Long (despite been a prominent homophobe) who has three men alleging that he sexually assaulted them, with one claiming that Bishop flew him around the world with his private plane and sexually abused him along the way.

Acts of sin... Poor men

Is this rape? Is it really assault? Or someone wanted the “do” to last for longer? Or maybe the “victim” felt cheated and jealous when the perpetrator recruited other men for the same services? When and how will we ever know? Is this war between the gay community and straight Christian community? Are men like Massa and Long gay or they simply use gay men (or any men, for that matter) for sexual purposes?

Long and Massa are two individuals who have lied by presenting a false image of themselves to the public. Yes, maybe they are not really homosexuals but their curiosity sure led them to enjoy being sexually involved with other men. So, where do they stand now in the society?

I should think the same men they stood with when opposing the whole homosexuality issue want to know, in case Massa or Long advances his experimental tactics to the other straight men and to their kids.

I wonder if their communities still think homosexuality is disgusting, contagious and sinful now that a Bishop has sexually harassed not only one man but THREE men.

Maybe the bible has a scripture somewhere in which it clearly states that only popular bishops can lay other men, despite having no love but sexual feelings for them.

Having named only public figures, it does not mean the ordinary men are relaxing. Their stuff is merely circulating amongst their neighbours, lovers, families and friends.

Happy read!

Madam, spoonfeed me!

Today, I am finishing off my first week as an intern, at Trialogue. Things, I must admit, are not as easy as I had expected. It seems, I still have a long way to go, as far as getting the grip of things around here.

I was right about one thing, though, and that is, there is no such thing as an easy task; being a receptionist, taxi marshal or cloak men. Nonetheless, I think the best way for one to do a good job; one has to have the strength and the will to learn everyday. God knows I do.

My challenging task

My first task was rather a challenging one, never mind the fact that I have done something similar to it, before. Market research being the task. Fortunately for me, I have a manager who never gets tired of answering my 21 questions and correcting my thousand mistakes, and I have a colleague who has no problem advising me on how to go about doing my job. I appreciate that.

Having said that, my main aim is not to make the same mistakes, but to learn from each one I make and move on to other tasks. I am not complaining at all, because the title I carry -intern- incorporates lessons. One day, I will know how to perform tasks, and these current work experiences will become my referrals then.

Alive with positivity

With all the positivity I have, I almost died from panicking when I realised I was not, really, doing justice to my task. I wished that, I could ask my manager to spoon feed me; tell me precisely what I need to be doing, step by step.

However, I remembered that, everyone at the office, is there to work and not only to focus on me. Meaning that, one way or the other, I have to find a way to learn many things on my own. I think it would impress my bosses if I would show initiative, and not only depend on being spoofed.

It does not matter how long it takes for me to get my job done, I will do it and I will be good at it. My prayer, however, is to forever maintain a positive attitude, and to acquire a skill of grasping information efficiently and quickly. I know it will happen. Maybe not today, tomorrow or the following day, but eventually it will happen.

Happy read!

The gay voice

At one point, religion ruled and it felt like all that big books state and proclaim was all there was and is to believe and live by. Today, however, politics rule in the same manner, and while religion mainly promotes the most powerful existence of an unseen figure, politics shove down the throats of citizens the rules and values accommodating only a certain portion of the lot residing in this open space of the earth.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if the ‘God’ I call to as a Christian is the politics. I mean, my god works in a very strict manner, while superiors in politics make changes in an instant and break the same rules they lay down for ‘everyone’.

Undeserved victory

The inspiration for my profoundness –in case one was wondering- hails from news feeds that carry headlines proclaiming the victory of Malawi government over the issue of two Malawian men; Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza who happen to be gay.

Despite living in a narrow minded state where being gay is regarded as immoral, the couple went ahead and held their engagement ceremony. Consequently, the two have been found guilty of unnatural acts and gross indecency. This comes after a process of not only being humiliated but disrespected and undermined by their country’s laws.

According to media waves, Tiwonge and Steven face the possibility of being jailed for more than 10 years. However, a magistrate is expected to sentence these guys on today.

The irony of this situation is that, both these men will be kept within walls where sodomy uncontrollably occurs. This applies not only to prisons in Malawi but in other countries as well. This means that, this two will have sex –though not with each other- but with other men imprisoned with them. Unfortunately, having sex in jail might be a deed that’s not so consensual in their case.

Also, it’s amazing how Malawian President Bingu wa Mutharika called on religious leaders in his country to help him condemn homosexuality. Daily Nation quoted him as saying, “(homosexuality) is evil and bad before the eyes of God”.  Nonetheless, the same god he uses to perpetuate his personal judgment is believed to have stated in the bible that He is the only one with the right to judge and not anyone else. Clearly, Mutharika reads a Koran.

Sympathy

Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing I can do to help or simply show that I feel the pain Tiwonge and Steven. What has happened instead is that, I have grown scared. I am scared of what the situation will be like now right here is South Africa.

I am well aware of how gay friendly Cape Town is and I also know that in 2007 a law that permits people of the same sex to get married was passed. However, that hasn’t stopped the ignorant few South Africans from not only teasing gay people but also physically hurting them.

With that I ask, how are we different then from a country that is totally against gay people? How often should we preach that homosexuality is not a choice? Who in fact can actually stand up and help to stop this sort of discrimination? If it’s not my president sharing on how he would beat up a gay man back in his youth years, our folks disown us while society tears us apart with insults.

To me it seems, only gay people will be able to stand against the issue, but the question still stands that will we ever win? If yes, when will we win? Clearly not today. Not next week or this year for that matter. This is a very long journey, I believe. One that makes me feel that gay people are fighting a losing battle.

Happy read!

Not so holly

As if we don’t have much to deal with when it comes to the issue of HIV and Aids, the leader of Ncandweni Gospel Christ Ambassadors, Timothy Myeni allegedly made a controversial and offensive remark about people living with HIV and Aids.

Apparently, Myeni insulted people with the virus by saying they should be branded on the buttocks to stop the spread of the disease.

Taking offence on this, the National Association of People Living with HIV and Aids (Napwa) wrote a letter to the SAMAs organisers, urging them to make sure that Myeni does not attend the event, as more than 300 Napwa members will be attending the event.

Failing to do so, Napwa threatened to make things ugly if Myeni attends the event or even wins an award. Consequently, he did not pitch.

Accentuating their message, Napwa also wants radio stations to stop playing and promoting Ncandweni’s music.

I find it very hard to understand as to why -a gospel singer nogal- would say such a thing. In my mind, this guy clearly thinks that, for one to get infected one has to be sleeping around. What a stereotype. Of course, now we wait to hear if he really made this remark, or it is just unfound speculations.

He better not have said that, or else I will make sure that in as much as I do not like their music, I would make it my mission to let people know what he said. That way, their reputation will be damaged, just as he had juts did to people living with the disease.

The last thing we want is people making this remark, simply because a leader of one of the popular gospel groups for the black market in SA said it. It seems to me that some people really need to be cultured and schooled. Especially our Christian believers.

Happy read!

Too bad, love is...

I’m pretty sure it has reached the stage of irritation for my colleague –who sits next to me- that I like Alicia Keys’ Love is blind. At least, I use my other colleague’s headphones, so it can’t be that bad.

Keys’ The element of freedom has been out for quite some time now, but I only heard this song for the first time, two weeks ago. Thank God, I am not surrounded by anyone who’s a big fan. Otherwise, I would have been a disgrace.

What I like about the song is the mere fact that Alicia Keys poises a nonchalant feeling through her lyrics citing being blinded by love. Being a sucker for love myself, I kind of relate to the song. Well, especially because when it comes to me loving someone, it takes a hundred blows for me to listen to what people say about my partner. Otherwise, I tend to wave like Khanyisile Mbau when being taken for a ride in one of those lovers fools vehicles. By that, I mean I have been made a fool by the people I loved so much, whom I strongly believed and somehow felt that they loved me back.

Such experiences might mean a lot of things to a person, but to me they certainly DO NOT mean giving up on love or on finding that one person who will be mine. Maybe my trust engine might be tempered a bit, but not entirely.

Inevitably, I will possibly get hurt again; once or maybe twice, but I am willing to go through that to find my love. Like John Legend puts it, you love, you love, you love, though you’ve been burnt, you still return. That’s me.

Besides being hurt or heart-broken, I do have some good moments with my people.

Happy read!