Listening proves to be a skill, still

While I may not quarrel one’s cooperation with Journalists in collecting facts, I am convinced it is an absolute slur to parenthood to admit to newspapers that your child came home after school minus his cellphone and some of his school items, further narrated to you that he was being bullied at school yet you, as the parent, failed to explore the rumour.

Had this woman listened AND heard when her child spoke, the ordeal that saw ‘good riddance of the dead’ in the lips of every pupil at Phineas Xulu Secondary School would have never happened.

Listening and hearing are two different things. Therefore, without the latter, we cannot expect a response nor should we anticipate a reaction.

Of course, this concept is betrayed by those who have not been heard and listened to.

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Sorry ma man

This time, he bumped into me at one of my other colleague’s office. He pitched a comic line my way, as usual, and I reimbursed the gesture with what I believe is wit at best. The triangle cracked. The business was folded. We stepped out.

Heading towards my workstation, I applaud him on his fresh endeavour. He laughs at the mothering tone, with a smile portraying approval and appreciation.

I have only been in for less than an hour, but you could not tell. My desk is untidy; had it not been for his death, Osama bin Laden would have appeared from this mess.

We see The Star newspaper. Immediately, he heads for The Workplace. Flip! Flip! He asked what I did last night. Tap! Tap! He is in the know. Flip! He cracks a joke regarding his body shape. Tap! Witty, I cracked.

He cracked another. My mouth widens.

Wait! He affronted her to me, in the presence of another woman. To himself he is funnier. The subject is a friend of mine. I take offence. Mothering scolds in the know. To him I am being funny, his mouth widened.

Had I continued to sit on that desk, I would have lost all respect. Had I left my desk he would not have understood his blunder. I grabbed my newspaper as a whip. He saw the blaze in my eyes. I disappeared.

Emerging back from near, I saw his firm behind flouncing the opposite way. He must have heard my silent reprimand. I sat at mine.

Sorry ma man, he sent me an email. I forgave him, yet my vocals had to be active, just for control and in case he decides to hit on her weight again.

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Transparency at its worst

In a business and social context, the term transparent refers to openness, communication, and accountability. It implies operating in a way that others can easily see and understand what actions are performed.

For those of us who have daddy issues, this is a term we use when in conflict with our mothers. We question its lack concerning the ‘daddy’ problem. It means being frank and honest about the issue at hand.

The same term comes into play in relationships. If you have fallen for a scumbag, I’m assuming you pleaded with the player using this exact same term. Most probably, you called it honesty or openness. Alas, the dog just could not abide.

From a societal perspective, however, public officials tend to use transparency recurrently. That is absolutely good of them. Except that, many of them become transparent when they have been cornered. And even then, they merely give certain portions of that openness; saving the rest for when the wind blows the cock’s tail again.  

Giving half the story or share it when you are faced with a challenge is not being honest or transparent, I believe. Speak on it as soon as you identify its inferences.

For instance, I was stumped this morning, when I came across The Star with mam’ uNomvula Mokonyane on the cover regarding her son who apparently pleaded guilty to possession of drugs.

What stunts me is the fact that now that the son has admitted to being guilty, the Gauteng Premier “appeals for your support and prayers” as she deals with this “traumatic experience”.

Why couldn’t she come forward before the streets of Joburg were flooded with state pluck-cards aimed at combating substance abuse? Or were we hoping the son would go AWOL for more than a month?

Naturally, no mother deserves to be going through such. Nevertheless, possibly, my sympathy would at least fill-up a flask had she been transparent about the challenge her son has been to her from the beginning. Not only now that the media has caught on it.

Public officials are human beings just like Tom, Mandla and Nokwanda. And because their job is to serve the public, they owe it to the public to be frank about things, especially when such things affect their job or the people they serve.

I believe you owe it to people to inform them by all means, possible. You do not have to be smart or an academic to be transparent. Honestly now, we cannot all be Trevor Manuel. The world needs the Malemas too.

This frankness should not just emerge when times are tough or when the likes of Mzilikazi Wa-Afrika are at your door demanding answers.

In my belief, it is not honesty, transparency or openness when you reveal something simply because you are in trouble. In fact, it would not even be a trouble if it was all out in the open from the first place. Well, maybe.

Let’s work on this, shall we?

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