Use he who uses thee...

As a young boy, I wanted to have a straight guy for a best friend. As I grew up though, I come to realise just how close to impossible this is. Probably, the Gods foresaw this; hence I always ended up attracting females for good friends. The ‘straight’ guys that came close to me had weird propensities coupled with sexual fantasies which somehow comprised men.

I stopped wishing and started living. Nonetheless, I realised that finding good friends is as hard as bumping into this Mr Right many young people tend to speak of.  And, it’s as hard to maintain as a relationship.

Just like in relationships, some people are lucky as they have the same friends since primary school. Some meet their best friends at varsity and they last forever, and others meet good friends only once and even though they are still good friends, they are miles apart and stand the possibility to only meet again when they have grown very old and apart.

Shame, poor me...

I met my friends, the two most wonderful beings at varsity and together we became family. We became each other’s pillars of strength and we were always there for one another in every possible way.

We were so close, to the extent that the fact that our relationships never lasted we were not bothered at all. We felt that as long as we had each other we were fine, and that is all that mattered.

I remember our conversations precisely. They’d start off about our plans and dream jobs after school and what we would do for ourselves and our families. This would shift to money, oh how we loved money (I still do) and finer things in life. From money came men, sex and alcohol; these were our favourites as our experiences brought smiles to our faces.

My shenanigans made them laugh, even the stuff I had kept to myself in fear of being humiliated. Nonetheless, I ended up laughing at those too.

My goodness, I had never been that free in my life. I would walk the streets with so much confidence; one would swear East London had no homophobes. This two accepted me and made me feel welcome to the point that I failed to see any bad in the eyes of a woman. Well, and some men.

Life served its course; I got a job offer in Johannesburg, one went to Cape Town while the other one worked in East London. At this stage I realised that I am not only clingy when it comes to relationships. I am this way even in friendships.

I became so lonely and at some point I thought of going back home. The fast life in Joburg was appealing, but I could not see any excitement without my two best friends. My career became the only thing keeping me sane. However, I outgrew this. I accepted that all three of us were meant for different things in life, and if we were meant to meet again, we will. Just not today.

Just like a victim of a failed relationship of many years, now I compare every single ‘friend’ I meet in Joburg to my best friends. They are all different; well, extremely different as many of these people seem to be users, in the sense that they only ‘like’ you if you have something they want.

The most surprising aspect to this, is finding out that even the richest people use people – no matter how poor - and they suck other people for money – no matter how broke - .

This to me is very strange. My explanation to this has been that maybe the rich ones have also been used before and now they feel the need to do the same to others. Even more strange I think.

Having said that, I have come up with an attitude that works for now; Use he who uses thee and all shall be well. Failing which, I will get bitten by the snakes they are. But I am sure there are still good people somewhere around just like I believe one of these days I will bump into this Mr Right guy.

Happy read!

An axe within reach

Earlier this morning my Twitter timeline was buzzing with questions and comments regarding the story about the former Blue Bulls rugby player who was arrested last Tuesday in relation to the axe murders in KwaZulu-Natal.

According to News24, the police suspect this attack to be revenge, after his daughter was gang-raped and was infected with HIV.

While many choose to hide what they would have done had they been in this guy’s shoes, I choose to be direct about my view. I mean I do NOT blame this guy for settling a score; particularly living in a country where unfairness is of most importance. In many cases regarding rape, corruption and murder perpetrators are seen walking free. We see them and we know them from our communities and on television screens. Some of them are prominent figures, but our pockets are less capable of inspiring our hands to touch them. The laws fail us as a result.

Why then wait for a case that is likely to be unsuccessful to disappoint you anyway? Of course, taking the law unto your hands is not a right thing at all. But one must understand the pain felt by this guy and especially his daughter who is now stained with a disease so deadly it has killed millions of people in South Africa.

If these men really raped this girl, why were they still walking free?

It is about time the South African justice system advocate for the victims. Issues affecting citizens of this country should take precedence and those that are in relation to the country’s image (e.g; Dewani case) come second.

If anyone would do anything to harm my mother or my two younger siblings in a manner similar to this incident, I would make sure that they die. God knows I cannot afford good lawyers, but at least an axe is within my reach. Why bother consult a useless system?

Let this be a lesson to the rapist and killers who are still trouncing somewhere; some people do not take kindly to hurt afflicted unto their families.

Happy read!

Who will help us?

I am a South African and I have been fortunate enough to visit –though briefly to some- five of the nine provinces South Africa is divided in; Western Cape, Eastern Cape, Gauteng, Free State and Mpumalanga. In all these provinces, or at least some of the cities within these provinces, there seems to be a large number of homeless and extremely poor people varying from toddles up to men and women old enough to be great grand fathers.

I have seen these people sleep on and wake up from pavements, some of them posing shamelessly on busy roads begging for money and leftovers from by-passers and drivers while a few of them are wondering around towns with pluck-cards  looking and asking for jobs that could at least help them chew just for one night.

All praises to the advent of democracy in 1994, because after that fateful era came prominent people who knew how it felt to starve or to be poor. South Africans voted for them to represent the country. They reassured not just the minority race, but everyone who was and is on the breadline that –even if it’s little- but they will bring help to them.

However, right in the eyes of homeless, poor and un-employable people, those figures chose to fatten their own pockets with the money that is meant to save those who are in the ‘titanic’.

Because of this corruption, greed and inconsideration, all eyes now look up, not just to the Lord Jesus Christ, but also to the owners of private businesses and community based organisations. Yes, some of these entities do what they can to help fellow South Africans by providing scholarships to promising students emerging from poor backgrounds, by implementing skills development programmes for the illiterate and unemployable people as well as empower those who are able to help others to continue doing so.

As a result of these initiatives, many have grown and matured and consequently carried on the legacy by establishing their own helpful resources and inventions. But, with all that being said and done, there is still a very long journey South Africans need to embark on in regards to shaping this country and helping the poor.

In the plight of all this, local entities that have the ability to financially support the people who help, seem to be more into providing help for countries that have been hit by natural disasters, which in the eyes of those who are poor come across as trying to make impression to other countries as opposed to feeding locals first.

Yes, South African companies MUST help other countries when natural disasters have shaken them. But the question is, how do these companies manage to provide help to Japan and Haiti when they prove to be struggling to fund an NGO that deals with homeless people in Mpumalanga, a young woman who spends her own money to equip rural students in the Eastern Cape or an orphanage home sheltering rape and HIV/Aids victims in Soweto?

Where and how do these companies get the money and the resources to provide assistant to other countries when here at home the civil society is in dire need of a small sum?

One might actually find that, South Africa is not really equipped as far preparing for when these natural disasters hit home. Perhaps Haiti and Japan will come through for us? But when?

So, in the mean time ‘we’ stay unemployable, poor and sickly while we wait for natural disasters to hit hey? Because then someone from somewhere will be willing to help?

Happy read!

Solutions... (inspired by Lauryn Hill's Oh Jerusalem)

Instances, examples and problems,
Emergencies, pain and silliness;
My body inevitably fail to connect and reasons cannot be defined.
Less sleep, more pills, mind drugged, my soul is dead,
And my young mind perished in the name of love.
Can I testify and say I was an actor, stage names, lies and imperfections defined me.
Forgetting lines, having no father but trusting in a man,
Failing schools tests, lacking direction but finding joy at varsity,
Limitations and boundaries dictating the light in my tunnel-shaped journey.

Instances, examples and problems,
Emergencies, pain and all;
Tradition abandoned, rules broken while hearts are in a process of being repaired,
Oh I cry, in the name of ancestors as a black soul
I cry in the name of those who live in the moment
I cry in the name of love; that which never existed.

I defined myself in the same way my enemies scrub their floors,
I explain my existence to those who felt I owed them.
I analysed my behaviour to a woman whose genitals stretched as God moulded my parts and shaped my heart, the same heart I have in my hand.

Instances, examples and problems,
Emergencies, pain and cluelessness;
I sleep around, I am sick; I no longer reap, but suck fruits less tasteful than bananas.
I forgot I was a man, I knew I was, but I had to thrust my being where my feet are forbidden as a man.
I forgot I was a loner, I knew I was, before I fell in love and felt good about it,
Deception fooled me; lust blinded me hence I often came quickly.

My traditions have found me, I chose you though I know you ditched me intentionally,
My heart is all repaired; I had to sort it, even though men stabbed me repeatedly in it,
I have found myself through instances, examples and problems,
Emergencies, pain and all.

 

Happy read!

Our government, whose art is in promises

Just like any other year and like any other president who seeks popularity, President Jacob Zuma stated, in this year’s State Of The Nation Address, that 2011 is a year of job creation. Already the Department of Public Service and Administration website is flooded by vacancies awaiting potential employees to compete for them.

The private sector on the other hand, meeting the government halfway it seems, is doing what it can to assist in the scarcity of jobs. As a result, websites like Bizcommunity, Pnet, Career junction and recruitment agencies are buzzing with what seems to be opportunities for the unemployed.

But how does the process of getting employed work? Is it really possibly to eradicate the ever increasing rate of unemployment in South Africa or we are merely trying to hit a Mariah Carey note with Mary j Blige’s voice?

Laying a complaint

Ever since my mind grew to understand what is uttered by SA presidents, I have been grasping what a normal mind would only dub empty promises; abolition of crime, alleviation of poverty through youth and women empowerment projects, building of houses, yada yada BEE, yada yada bursaries for well deserving students and so forth. All these declarations never seem to be met, well at least NOT entirely.

Having said that, every erudite and scholarly mind, in my opinion, is well aware of the government’s failure to stick to promises. However, we all still lift our hopes and hands up high as if we are welcoming Jesus into our lives, knowing fully that nothing will come out of it.

Consequently, all we do is complain about what the government is NOT doing right FOR us. It appears, our minds have forgotten about Mr Thabo Mbeki’s Vukuzenzele initiative (wake up and do it yourself). Yes, this was mainly invented for the struggling farmers, but that did not mean that a struggling young man in the impoverished Tsomo area, in the Eastern Cape, should just wait for Mbeki to speak to him directly.

The government is at work. The government is delivering. The government is sorting out crime but this is ONLY benefiting certain people in certain areas.

The government is doing all that is possible to get rid of poverty, but this is only experienced by a certain number of people (including the corrupt vultures, of course). Also, the BEE concept is working, but not for every black person who qualifies will get to taste how it feels to a BEE employee.

What does this mean?

First and for most, it does not matter how hard the government lifts up weight in an aim to help and feed the hungry, shield the homeless and comfort the unemployable; it is just impossible to cater for everyone.

There will always be that portion or a number of people who will be poor, who will be unemployed, who will be victims of crime till the world comers to an end.

It is about time people quit looking up to government and expecting a love song to begin after screaming VIVA!

Chairs are fine right next to the table. Leave them for toddlers to lean on when trying to walk, and go out to start something that will bring you money.

Many projects are already in motions in many areas. So, don’t start your own because then as it will take ages to pick up. Get involved in the projects that already exist. Use your talent and what you good at.

Being good does NOT only refer to making the kinkiest moves when having sex; it refers to how you sing, how you dance, the way you draw, the way you cook and the ways herd cows or help build houses for the people in your community.

Not everyone will have a degree or a diploma. Not everyone with qualifications will get a job. So, one MUST do with what is do-able and available right now.

The truth is, you are the ONLY person who solely cares for yourself genuinely. The other people are using you as a ladder for themselves or their businesses. Why don’t you try and be like them then? Use them to grow yourself.

By the way, I hear the world is coming to an end next year, why don’t you start doing something for yourself? Go out and START a job.

Happy read!