Fragmented emotion

Unphotographable occurrences, significant utterances and attitude.

Offensive sighs, shifting of blame, middle fingers in action.

I am confused; what was meant to be is in pieces.

Just yesterday, sweetheart was an address.

Today, derogative titles are mine, yet I still hold close love.

Once upon a time, my heart knew only your bounds.

Of late, your hand clenches a scalpel.

The lips that once embraced mine speak ill of love.

Your eyes, at arm’s length, hoot undesirable fruits.

Incurable indifferences surface amid company.

Emotions have grown heavy; this has become us.

Your dream sees my end as I gather your soul from the bin.

Today, I see an animal; it approaches and it wails.

Just yesterday, you clogged lapdogs growling my way.

Of late, I dance on my own while you emulate a tired Gucci watch.

Happy read!

Black butterfly

By Cwengile Gagela

Black butterfly, trapped in your cacoon,

Tainted with thoughts that cloud, confuse you from what could be.  

I almost gave myself to you last night, forgot that u not really mine.

I almost let u in last night, almost handed you my heart,all in attempt to feel.

So we could stop these games and make this fantasy of you and I a reality.

So we can hide beneath these sheets and make that trip to paradise.

Black butterfly I, I almost felt something as you lured me into your world

As u gently layed your lips on mine.

As u slowly undressed me, as you layed between my naked thighs,

As our bodies moved in synchrony, with each breath going deeper and deeper.

I almost , almost let my guard down as u wrap your arms and legs around me

Promising to never let go...

See, this might just be all physical for you

And when you're satisfied you will discard of me and swiftly move along...

I almost forget that you once walked in these same shoes,

And were a victim of another in these sordid lurv circles.

That numbed u from feeling,

But I, I lay here stil believing in this thing called love...

Happy read!

Peace and ease

By Cwengile Gagela

Yesterday I was in this very room when

I caught a glimpse of freedom.

Silently, tiptoeing passed me...

I reached for it, grabbed it in desperation as if I was diseased and needed a cure.

I felt is slip through my fingers and I tightened them wanting no escape.

I'd been searching for it, finally I found it and as I embraced it sensations of numbness fluctuated through my body and I'D FOUND MYSELF...

AT EASE

AND AT PEACE

YOU SEE, GULLIBILITY WAS MY FOE,

BEFORE I WAS MADE TO BELIVE!!!

REPEATEDLY THESE VOICES WHISPERED

"Cwengile let go, give in, give in to these pleasures and feelings"

And as a result I lost myself in this cruel cruel world.

Ewe izolo bendindedwa,

Ndiphoxwe nguwe.

When I caught this glimpse of freedom,

I embraced it, dwelled in ITS numbness,

Freed myself,

From him,

From her,

From them,

From it,

From this bond.

And I...FOUND MYSELF

AT PEACE

AND AT EASE

Happy read!

Heart behaviours

Hello today, yesterday infested me with the other day’s love endemic.

And now, I carry a heart and, once again, it seethes

I am listening to every grain of its occurrences. I bear joy. The future is set alight.

I am not worried. The ducks on the queue. My preceding have been omitted.

For as long as it beats, I seem to excite a longing.

Not so long, yet it appears I can prolong it. Longevity is a possibility.

And now, I carry a feeling, to which I am a customary victim

As if to emulate a punishment, it hits even-handedly the sensitive parts of me.

Had my ear sought after my well narrated hurt, I would be resisting.

Body and soul.

Soul and mind.

My mind, together with my heart, ought to pursue all good intentions

Hello today, yesterday has afforded me some kind of a cure for my disease

As a result, I speed through corridors mending the cracks of the heart I carry.

I strutting with aberration

With a face painted with irrational grins, I interweave it with a constricted thread.

I welcome delight, as upcoming days bear fire blazing hours.

Happy read!

Eccentrically flawless

The face structure accentuates his cheekbones and I am called to look, but not to gaze.
He does what he does and I become inundated in his actions as he does.
My mind is here; as he speaks it follows the batting of his nicely carved lips.
I am not slumbering nor am I dead to the world.
I can hear him, he knows and I understand him and his stories.
Go on, my nods command him. I hear you, my eyes tell him. I am pleased, my smile assures him.

He speaks furthermore and I devour all the verses his lips recite.
I munch away as he feeds me.
My head is halfway. Come, come closer, my eyes converse.
I open my lips wide. He thrusts, nicely; his natter and I do not vacillate to swallow.
He feeds me some more while the surrounding stares.
Reciprocally we are nonchalant, but he cares that I’m assiduous.

Happy read!

Couldn't have been love...

So many times, he’d say “I’ll be right back...”

I believed him, and with that look in his eyes I felt his truth

He promised me something, leaving me with a guarantee, certainty and his word

Tightly knotted with his, my heart felt the honesty in his voice

He never lied, he loved me

He loved me, I knew it

I knew him and I loved him

I watched him care for me always

He nurtured me, kissed me and splurged on me

He did things to my body and my mind would blast of ecstasy

His touches, kisses and love making tactics blew my every part

I could have never been ice, he melted me every time

He was mine and I was his

We shared not only t-shirts and secrets

We shared the sheets, cups and sweets

We shared a dime, our families and styles

I gave him my heart, I swear I had his

I walked the streets with joy

The love I got at home could catch me when I fall

I had eyes looking at me all the time with jealous minds and envious bitches eyeing shine

I thought they were jealous,

Then I heard a word; he hadn’t said things, he’d done things, I see

My sandcastle had collapsed, you see

This was a lie; he and I were a lifetime

We were more than just lust

My peace threatened to flee

NO! This was NOT the day

What were they doing to me? Breaking me?

The golden thread connecting his love to my heart a figment?

This was a lie; jealous minds and envious whores had spotted my shine

Because he loved me, he had to know

Good old us, were to deal with this; together

Mama, NO! He dealt with me, the way daddy dealt with you

Old memories emerged with shocking incidents, he was abusing me

He dealt with me, I could not believe

He’d mistaken strangles for stroking my throat

Coiled up in the same bed we’d lay in when he loved me, my ribs were in pain.

Today, he was hurting me, had he lost his magic?

Mama, he was NOT loving me, love had left our temple and it had dumped his sight
My screams cannot be heard unlike when I moan with him inside me

But, I had to ask him. Jealous minds and envious whores were denting us

But his punches were messing me

I see all we are had never been, his love had cost me a tooth,

And this way, I had never been free

In my face he’d set his footprint,

Then I knew he’d never loved me, he wanted to see me broken

My teardrops had built up streams, finding sanctuary on my scars

The most beautiful butterfly in my heart had died

As I looked up, I saw no glitter not even a star,

I saw a man whose expression was confronted by guilt

His penis had betrayed him; hence my love saw the door.

Happy read!

Doing him...

Naked, skinny, sticky me on top of his white chocolate skin

I lied and said I will be quick.  I said I will not be going in.

But I found myself deep inside him.

Intending to draw where he stands, I locked my eyes in his.

His lips found a way to mine.

Maybe he bit me, I don’t recall.

While he moaned, I felt his hands searching my body. I growled.

We wanted something. We were about to share.

Scars on my back grew, a sign that he receives my gift.

He cried in ecstasy.

I held close his diminutive round bun, preventing resistance from his part.

He pushed. I thrust. He screamed. I went harder.

It’s coming, he said.

Then receive me, I whispered

My pace picked up while my fore-waist fought his manly hands.

I am not hurting him. I love him.

I felt he was hungry. I had to feed him.

I released my whole inside him

Baby, I love you. Baby, I love you.

At least, I am showed him.

I thrust even harder, going even faster.

I am not myself, I am his.  

My part wholly inside him, his body went rigid.

He was still breathing. So, he was alive.

Like ice, he melted and I died on top of him.

Happy read!

Ndive ndisitsho

Gqabi elintsakantsaka,

Lintlakantlaka lithwaxwe zimbalela,

Labuna, labola, lavuthuka.

Uqwalasele kugqutha,

Ufifi lombono lwavela,

Luveza intlantsi yenkwenkwezi,

Ikhanya phezulu phaya,

Umilise izitho emgangathweni,

Welula umqondo, kwahlaziyeka imbilini.

Nkazana entushuntushu, nkazana emfutshane

Siqishimbana sentyatyambo, ndisinekile nje ndiyakubulisa.

Nango amehlo am enyibilika,

Nantsi intliziyo yam intlimpinika

Noko, akophi gazi, luvuyo nje, nokundweba kwengqondo.

Chula ukunyathela ke, simomondiya

Musa ukunyathelwa ke, zizihikahika

Ndikujongile, ndikuhoyile, ndikubukele

Ndikubambile, jonga isandla sam, sikukhongozele

Ndikuqwalasele, ndikuncumele njena, yiyo lento ndikonwabele